5 Sinsiter Mum Fails – The Mumatron Blog

5 Sinsiter Mum Fails – The Mumatron Blog

Ever feel like the things you do innocently as a parent feel sinister for no reason?

There are just some things that we have to do to survive that in any other circumstance would be dark! Sometimes, I feel worse for thinking something perfectly simple is ever so slightly twisted, enjoy my top 5 times.

Β Sinister mum fail 1 – The hanging of Iggle Piggle.

Before The Chops was akin to Lightning Mcqueen on the speed stakes, he would lie placidly underneath a lovely play gym. I thought it might be nice for him to be able to look at his soft Iggle Piggle toy. Taking the Velcro tag that allowed for him to stay attached to the pram, I looped it through the top of the bars. Stepping back to check out my amazing motherly handy work, I was mortified to see that I had inadvertently sent Iggle Piggle to the hangman’s noose. RIP Iggle Piggle.


Sinister Mum fail 2 – Kidnapper extraordinaire.

When the summer nights grew longer I decided that The Chops’ 4.30 wake up routine had to stop. We have a black out blind but evidently it wasn’t working. I thought using black card and sellotape would solve the problem. Piece by piece the card fitted beautifully in the window pane. It wasn’t until the very last piece that I felt suddenly less like a genius and more like a kidnapper/psycho/serial killer/Luther-worthy nutter. Blocking out my victims contact with the outside world.

Sinister Mum fail 3 – The soft toy drowning.

Every. Single. Time. Washing soft toys in a washing machine is for the good of everyone, why then do I feel so evil while Simba and Teddy woof whirl around in a fairy liquid bath?!

Sinister Mum fail 4 – The parent cannibal.

‘I’m gonna eat you!’ ‘Eat those toes’ ‘Raaaaaa’ What’s more sinister than joking about eating your child’s body parts? Er…I guess the chasing and the mimicking of eating them, monster cannibal chomping noises included – SINISTER! Find me a parent that doesn’t do it. It makes me laugh how much the enjoy the game, Chops runs at me screaming in the hope that I’ll scoop him up and pretend to eat his stomach.

Sinsiter Mum Fail 5 Β – Soft toy sex pest.

I noticed recently that when I tidy up after The Chops is in bed, that while tidying up just how many stuffed toys he plays with in a day. There’s teddy, teddy woof, lion, meerkat, I could go on. Recently, after tidying I was stuffing the teddies back on top of the toy box when it became apparent that Teddy Woof was always behind Teddy. Now far be it for me to say that teddies have personalities but this one looks like he is enjoying being back there a bit too much. It’s feels like I have a sordid Toy Story on my hands. I’m only glad he’s not called Woody!





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  1. Hilarious! I didn’t realise it was sinister until you said, but I’ve done all those things. Oh dear ….

    1. Author

      I didn’t either then when I’d done with the window I felt like I needed arresting!

      1. I have wondered a few times what social service would say … #stayclassymama

  2. Ha ha! I have definitely noted humping toys before…I think I may have instagramed one or two dodgy moments! Corker of a post – poor Iggle PIggle πŸ˜‰

    Thanks for sharing with #coolmumclub

    1. Author

      I did have a photo of iggle piggle’s untimely demise but I can’t find it πŸ˜‚

  3. A sordid Toy Story just made me laugh out loud. I am never going to be able to look at a teddy bear in the eye again. You have ruined me for life! #FridayFrolics

  4. Ha ha! Brilliant. I have had a few of these sinister moments myself. There was also the time one of the toys started talking through the baby monitor in the middle of the night and scared the living crap out of us! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

    1. Author

      Oh baby monitors just remind me of paranormal activity πŸ‘»! I think it’s the slight delay 😰

  5. Haha, the sex pest toys…we have some of those, always humping the others!

  6. haha … very cute post. I too am guilty of the kidnapper blocking the kid in from the outside sunshine and daylight!
    It has to be done though – 4.30am is NOT cool kid!

  7. Hahaha this really made me laugh, the image of Simba drowning in the washing machine does make me sad now that I think about it lol….poor Simba. Thanks for the laugh and sharing with #StayClassyMama!

  8. 4.30 wake up OUCH. Did the psycho cardboard work? The parent cannibal stuff makes me crack up…its totally true, I was playing with my best friends son and he loves me pretending to much on his neck lol. Creepy mum habit. I admit to posing Iggle piggle doing weird things at night taking pictures! #coolmumclub xx

    1. Author

      It does work in terms of its function- that’s where it ends I’m afraid! 😫 x

  9. Can’t stop laughing..that last line!!! Thanks for the laugh this morning.xx #blogcrush

  10. Haha – yes that’s true! Definitely the creating of prison dungeons – blacked out windows, bars, gates, locks on everything…

    Thanks so much for joining us for #FridayFrolics

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