Driving Miss Mumatron

Driving Miss Mumatron

Driving Miss Daisy Mumatron

I did it. After years of listening to various friends and family compare segments of my persona to ‘Driving Miss Daisy’, I watched it. It wasn’t what I expected. Namely because it starred neither Dame Maggie Smith nor Scottish funny man Billy Connelly. Apparently that’s Mrs Brown and it’s not even Maggie it’s Judy Dench, wrong dame and completely wrong story. I was nervous because I’d got this idea that Miss Daisy was somewhere between Hyacinth Bucket and Hitler. I thought essentially I was being branded a snobby racist, ouch. Thankfully not the case!


Like watching me, only old

The film actually starred Jessica Tandy. I’d never heard of her – much to Dadius Prime’s disappointment, I haven’t seen ‘Batteries not included’. Her driver, Hoke,  is played by Morgan Freeman (legend). Yeah. I’m her. It’s as if parts of the script were written from my own words. Line upon line spilled out like watching myself, only I sit in the front seat and I’m not big on hats.

I’m not as direct as Miss Daisy. My husband is not my paid driver. It might therefore, be pushing it a bit if I said to him ‘you’re speeding, I can see it’ while he regaled in the joys of MPGs, Cruise control and my personal favourite altitude and incline (thankfully not on this car). I can however be heard questioning the speed, the route (I don’t do shortcuts, I do waiting for traffic to clear, short cuts are almost always long cuts), the visibility (lights, wipers, mirrors) and who doesn’t love picking a great parking space? ‘That’s a nice one’ is not something I thought I’d say about parking spaces.

I should be a traffic cop

I’m not sure where my  ‘Miss Daisy’ attitude towards driving came from. I expect that it’s a combination of hearing about so many accidents, watching Traffic Cops for hours on end and having a baby in the car (nothing like a baby for inciting irrational worry). I think that I’m the only person who took, let alone passed a test. Walking around with the pushchair involves witnessing a shed load of bad/dangerous/illegal driving, I could make a fortune for the police if they gave me some marvelesque citizen-capturing-crims license.

For starters, no one sticks to the speed limit. There’s a few hundred in fines. Don’t get me started on the average speed check zones. Perhaps the definition of average needs clarifying in BIG FUCK OFF LETTERS at the start of the allotted stretch? No one stops at zebra crossings. Where do you stand on thank you’s at a zebra crossing? Thank you for abiding by the law?Apparently undertaking is fine, motorbikes (those stupid hairdryery ones or the ones for off roading) are a law unto themselves. I’m positive there’s rule where you stop if your side has an obstruction although I feel like I just made it up.average

What is it about the road?

I have been known to get mad behind the wheel, not very Miss Daisy, not very Me. It’s generally because I’m perfect right and they’re insane wrong. Something about the roads that makes us all very opinionated. Why do we have an attitude where by passing the test is insignificant? It’s deemed a hoop to before you can set your own rules in order to do it your own way. Surely driving should be one of the areas that’s not left open to interpretation? Would you expect a chef to just stop abiding by their health and hygiene training once they passed? Tricky…but no, you can keep your E.coli thanks. Put someone in charge of an ignition to two litres of petrol and half the time their test may as well have been a game of Grand Theft Auto.

People have killed each other over disagreements behind the wheel, lets get a bit of perspective. If it’s against the law, it’s wrong. I don’t care if you are late. Just for two minutes? Don’t care. Forget to put your glasses on? Not good enough. Only nipping? Nope. End of.


Admissions Of A Working Mother
Life Love and Dirty Dishes


  1. I agree – people are way to lax when it comes to driving. Can I just say I love your faces illustrating your posts….You Tube channel anytime soon? Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely xx

  2. Author

    Do a what now? On the where? haha, I’m not sure I’d even know where to begin!! I’m glad you like the pictures though. I did try a video once and I couldn’t do it for laughing, I felt ridiculous. Thanks, H x

  3. I can not STAND the way people ignore crossings. I’ve stopped at a crossing in the car and the guy behind me starts beeping at me??? As a pedestrian, I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve almost been hit. Jags! #Stayclassymama

    1. Author

      It’s scary, there’s a crossing in the way to and from swimming and as it’s green to cross the filter goes on another light and the cars hardly ever stop because they don’t see it in time!

  4. I passed my test 12 months ago, whilst fairly heavily pregnant. I still drive like a nan. I don’t care. I’m all about the speed limit! Big Love to all the Daisies out there!! #stayclassymama

    1. Author

      Haha. Driving pregnant was well funny, the bigger I got the longer it took to get in and out. My friend once had to move the car for me to get in from some jackass parking! X

  5. People are ARSES on the roads these days! Only this afternoon my husband and I were out and discussed this very issue: have people actually passed their tests? Can people actually drive? What’s wrong with people? Is it so hard to just flick your hand up to say thank you because I let you through? Clearly it is. Don’t even get me started on people who are far too superior to flick the little nob called an indicator….. I do have a crystal ball I suppose…. I swear its got worse. NOBODY can drive properly! …Apart from me of course 🙂
    Big love to another giggle-inducing post ‘tron ! BBTG -X-

    1. Author

      Everyone’s a lunatic. You pass but there’s this thing with driving where you pass but ‘then you really learn to drive’ whaaaaat? You mean you pass then ‘drive however the jango you like’? I’m all muttering to myself walking around about where are the cameras here? and what’s the point in even having a crossing? No wonder baby sleeps when we’ve been out walking for a while haha x

      1. Ha! I’m exactly like this! ‘Where’s the coppers when you need one?’ Eejits on these roads nowadays! Are we sensible tron or just miserable?😄

  6. We were at a zebra crossing the other day. A car didn’t stop. I was about to be angry when my eldest waved his fist at the car shouting “You’ll pay for that you maniac”. Then I couldn’t help but laugh! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

    1. Author

      Haha! I can’t wait for my baby’s first words ‘slow down’, ‘can you read?’ and ‘crazy daisy’ are major condenders!

  7. I agree- you should try a video post- the facial expressions are amaze!


    1. Author

      Thank you. Where do you even start? I did one once about the alphabet song. I couldn’t sing for laughing. My sister just pissed her pants watching it, but I think it was at me rather than the content haha!

  8. Had me chuckling with the facial expressions! Driving is just getting more horrendous, people hardly ever stop at crossings, or even indicate! Argh! #fridayfrolics

    1. Author

      When they drive up behind you when your turning but can’t wait so they have to go around the back and of your car. Where are all these angry rushing people going?!

  9. Hahah I’m loving the photos in this post btw. I think having a baby in the car has made me a bit mad too. I used to be speedy gonzalez on the road, not giving two shits about what other people are doing (I’m such a rebel haha), but now I get scared when my partner exits a round-a-bout. The round-a-bouts are dangerous! People are cray lol. Thanks for the laugh and sharing with #StayClassyMama!

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