Face wash – when did beauty get so tech?

Face wash – when did beauty get so tech?

Face wash, foam, mask, clay, gel.

About a month ago the cap on my face wash broke. The little stopper bit on the inside of the cap snapped off, plugging the hole that it should fill when closed. Now that wasn’t a big deal. Unscrew the cap right? Wrong. Could I fuck get it off, think it was some sort of a sign.

‘I did find the face wash in the supermarket, that wasn’t the issue.’

I know I’ll just grab some at ASDA on Monday, be reet til then. Wrong again! Now I did find the face wash in the supermarket, that wasn’t the issue. The issue was that they had about four and they all had bits in. Every tube was a ‘scrub’. In my experience, these scrubs not only leave me looking like I had a full face wax, they hurt and apparently they’re bad for the environment. (Yes I was thinking of the fish as well as my face). Never mind I’ll pop to boots this week. Haha. It’s not like popping to Boots was a stupid idea, being in Boots made me feel ancient and stupid in equal measure.

‘It seems some time over the past *mubbles* six months, face wash got tech.’

As I stood in the oh so clinical isles I found myself unable to determine which of the tubes were face wash and which were not. Evidently washing ones face with water and a flannel is out. It seems some time over the past *mubbles* six months, face wash got tech. The more tech the wash, the more expensive. Having learnt my lesson from the cheap-cap-snap. I thought it might be time to actually invest in something decent.

‘WTF is micellar water anyway?!’

Price of product clearly dictates intelligence of customer. I started to wonder whether or not I could even but face wash anymore. Should I be using a cleanser? Micellar Water? Foaming scrub perhaps? CHARCOAL MASK? (WTF is micellar water anyway?!). Most of the tubes were branded as cleansing, bloody better be – isn’t that the point? FYI I bought Una Brennan Super Facialist Salicylic Acid Anti Blemish Purifying Cleansing Wash (yes that’s it’s full name, and yes I was being facetious). I might have felt completely out of my depth but the splashing the extra cash was worth it, it’s actually quite good.

It occurred to me that it’s not only face wash that got tech. Toothpaste anyone? Whitening, freshening, stripe with fluoride, calcium, enamel protection or bubbles. Yes to all? Then you’ll need a mortgage to pay for it. That’s before you even get to the brushes. I’m not entirely sure what is going on there either. How does one use a 360 degree toothbrush? If it’s not vibrating, ultra reaching, tongue scrubbing is it even a toothbrush anymore?

There’s one thing that I am more concerned about than any other and that’s the increase in the use of MILK in ‘beauty’ products (‘beauty’ because clean and beautiful not one and the same.) I don’t want to use bath milk. Bath. Milk. Shower milk. Cleansing milk. Cringe all over. I associate cleanliness with water, clear water (micellar even) not kinda-off-colour, slightly-cloudy, once-dripped-from-a-boob milk.

Don’t get me started on tampons. Putting works like silk or pearl on your box (no pun intended) isn’t making the situation any prettier.

Obviously lots of research goes into the marketing of beauty products and they know how to drive sales, which is ultimately the name of the game.

What drives you up the wall when it comes to buying beauty products?










  1. It’s all so complicated and all I really want is something that takes makeup off without costing the earth!

  2. To be honest it’s not just beauty but everything! Even when you want to get some crackers there are like a bajillion different types of crackers there is just TOO MUCH CHOICE ARGHHHH! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub and enjoy/survive the summer xoxo

    1. Author

      Thanks! Choosing is too hard. Unless it’s chocolate or no chocolate- that’s easy! X

  3. I am convinced there are so many products out there with clever marketing messages that we absolutely do not need at all

    1. Author

      I completely agree. It’s crazy. And so many mixed messages. It’s a wonder we’re all hanging in there!

  4. Any advertising for sanitary products is so annoying. Why can’t they show it how it really is. I’m not going to be roller skating in skimpy shorts. I’m going to be curled up on the sofa in my PJ’s! Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

    1. Author

      I’m going to be ripping heads off puppies then crying about it uncontrollably! Buts let’s suppose they’re butterflies…and I’m laughing…it’s prettier!

  5. The price drives me up the wall. The fancier the name, the more pounds it seems. What happened to just soap and water 😉 #FridayFrolics

  6. We are big believers in organic, healthy, unpackaged. My Mrs., she recently started selling #BeautyCounter because it is safer skin care for the whole family. #BeautyCounter is a certified B Corp, meaning they care about the triple bottom line: People, planet and profit. Doing good by doing well. Take a look. It’s not at all high tech and they try very hard to be safe for people and the planet we inhabit. It’s pretty cool. #FridayFrolics

    1. Author

      It sounds like more beauty suppliers should be following their lead! I’ll take a look, thanks. X

  7. This is so true. Last time I went to buy eye cream I stood in the aisle for a good 20 minutes not having a clue. In the end I went on amazon typed in eye cream and bought the one with the highest reviews and the biggest discount. No idea what it’s called but it seems to be doing the trick.

  8. Haha – I’ve managed to go in reverse! I used to follow complicated face care routines and try to understand all these products…now I can’t be bothered! Thanks so much for joining us for #FridayFrolics

    1. Author

      I had a facial this week to use up a voucher- the beautician all but slapped me when I admitted that I have no routine haha.

Leave a Reply