Get it off your chest Mumatron
I’ve not written a post for a while for one reason or another, here’s the first instalment of Mumatron Moans. There are a few bits I need to get off my chest, if everyone could just bear the following in mind that would be great.
Brexit vs Bregzit
To be clear is no G in the word Brexit (if you can even call it a word- more on that later). When pronouncing Brexit, it’s B-R-E-X-I-T, not as so many seem to think B-R-E-G-Z-I-T.
Made up words
Being on TV does not give you license to make up words. It’s bugging me that if someone on TV says a word, it’s assumed that it’s right, a real word. I give you, Armology ,seriously, you couldn’t think of a better way to describe a dancer’s arm movements?! Flavourful -pretty sure it used to be flavoursome. Vocality “you have a wonderful vocality to your voice” What does that even mean? One can only assume it means tone of voice, so say tone of voice. I didn’t know this, but according to some slebs if you use ‘ality’ as a suffix on just about any word, it’s a word regardless of whether or not it makes any sense. While we’re at it, Ginormous isn’t a word either.
Why is everything hand picked these days? Things that cannot be hand picked include: hotels, holidays, TV shows, houses, music and restaurants. Things that can be hand picked include: eggs, apples, flowers, tomatoes and fabrics.
Which genius decided that in order to buy anything from a high street store, you not only pay for it with cash, but with information also? ‘Can I take an email address?’ has become a phrase that makes my blood boil, I want to say ‘Yeah sure its firstname.lastname@example.org’ but I can hardly blame a pimpled teen behind that counter in New Look for my pet peeves can I?
I understand that everyone’s got a job to do and if that job is ‘marketing’ in the street, for a charity or energy/broadband/TV provider do not, in an attempt to get my attention begin your sentence with ‘Miss’, you’re not in school. Most of all, I dislike being manipulated in the street while trying to do my shopping. I was asked ‘Are you friendly, Miss?’ recently, the poor guy sounded like he had stepped out of a Dickens novel. It’s times like these I wish I sounded like Danny Dyer and could just bang out a ‘Do I look f**king friendly?’.
Wow I feel so much better. I’m sure there’s more where this came from, I’ll save it for later.
In other news I’ve started a little YouTube Channel – The Mumatron Vlogs. Check it out for some dieting tips (of the cheating kind, like how eat more curly wurlys).
Mumatron Moans will be running as a regular series eeeek, come back for more moans and groans!